The desire to be understood

Newsletter December 2016

“Why do I do that anyway ?!” a question we frequently ask ourselves … if we mindlessly have eaten a bag of chips, have a silly fight with our partner, or have been drinking too much at a party …

The need to be understood is important. As essential as the need to belong. We want to understand ourselves so much for we hope that others will “get” us without being put off by what they see of us. Don’t we all need compassion towards our faults and a sense that others understand and experience us as like themselves–in an okay way.

It helps if you’re hanging out with people who tend to be understanding towards human nature. It’s a pleasure to be with people who are non-judgmental in their approach to life. Friends who are quick in judging others often do not help us feel good about ourselves. It can be comforting to be among friends who do not judge too hard.

Of course it helps if we’re not judgmental toward ourselves, although we must be honest about our behavior when it is destructive. It’s hard when you judge yourself to open yourself up to others.

Choose your friends carefully. We have no choice but to be influenced by those we spend time with. The more scarce our time, the more important the choice with whom we spend that time … Friends with an understanding of human nature can be rare to find, but they are worth the hunt, and they will be healing in our lives.

During our winter holidays we like to spend time with each other. Look for company that supports you in being yourself: enjoy!